I will lead with the assumption that all human beings would prefer a world order in which being in harmony with the OTHER was the norm. In this world order, oppressors and the oppressed would reconcile the tragic gap that separates them and is often the source for war. Peace would be achieved when reconciliation, as a result of authentic dialogue, was the goal.

In his book, On Dialogue, David Bohm writes…

“Dialogue” comes from the Greek word dialogos. Logos means “the word,” or in our case we would think of the “meaning of the word.” And dia means “through” — it doesn’t mean “two.” A dialogue can be among any number of people, not just two. Even one person can have a sense of dialogue within himself, if the spirit of the dialogue is present. The picture or image that this derivation suggests is of a stream of meaning flowing among and through us and between us. This will make possible a flow of meaning in the whole group, out of which may emerge some new understanding. It’s something new, which may not have been in the starting point at all. It’s something creative. And this shared meaning is the “glue” or “cement” that holds people and societies together.”

The powerful image Bohm creates is his phrase, “a stream of meaning flowing among and through us.” The stream of meaning is a source of deeper understanding that points to the resolution of the thing that is in the way. I don’t want to oversimplify the thing that is in the way of peace between Palestinians and Israelis. Fundamentally, each culture wants to be recognized by the other as having the right to exist, living in a place they call home. A desire of all human beings.

Where is the space of common understanding that we can move forward from? I can imagine negotiators working on the peace plan are searching for a common understanding. Will this common understanding emerge from a personal, social, culture, or political space? After the deaths thousands of Israelis and tens of thousands of Palestinians, I think it is unlikely to come from a cultural or political space. It is more likely to emerge from a personal space, a space that relies on the inherent value of relationships.

Is the question each culture has to embrace, what is my obligation to the relationship between our two peoples? In his book, On This Journey We Call Our Life, James Hollis writes: ‘There is a paradox at the heart of all relationships. We cannot know ourselves without the dialectical encounter with others.” I take this to mean that either side, Palestinian or Israel, will be unable to find a path forward unless they grapple with the polarities that exist. What are the polarities? Some of them might be:

• Ownership versus sharing land
• Oppression versus freedom
• Dignity versus degradation
• See me versus Ignore me
• Love me versus hate me

The grappling must involve a sincere commitment to address all the polarities that separate rather than connect. Hollis delves deeper into the dialectic and writes, “…the necessary tension of opposites, which by definition require an I and a not-I. Without the other, one remains caught in the limited narcissistic loop whereby one’s sense of reality is secure and unchallenged by other possibilities.” This suggests that the way out of the tension of opposites is to engage the other. In Bohm’s model it means having a dialogue, not a negotiation. The outcome would be to create a “stream of meaning flowing among and through us and between us.” The goal would be for the I and not-I to validate each other and realize one cannot exist without the other. As Hollis suggests, it would be the catalyst for growth, consciousness, and transformation.

There are individuals and groups using these ideas to promote meaningful conversations leading to peace. Here are just a few examples.

• Open and Productive Dialogue for Peace between Palestine and Israel, Jake-Hirsch-Allen
• A Call for Peace between Israelis and Palestinians and Those Who Support Them in the United States
• To Advance Israel-Palestine Dialogue, We Need to Engage with Empathy, Interfaith America
• Arab-Israeli orchestra celebrates 20 years of harmony, The Divan Orchestra founded by an Israeli and a Palestinian as a humanist project for friendship and dialogue is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year.

The answers to a peaceful reconciliation are circulating widely among people on either side of the conflict; however, the egos of leaders on both sides are standing in the way of progress. It is time to let the people’s voices be heard, and for countries, like Iran, that are standing in the way to step aside.