I am reading a wonderful book by James Hollis, On This Journey We Call Our Life: Living the Questions. In the first chapter, he asks us, the reader, “So what are the truths which we are living, or which are living us?” I love this question because it reveals the polarity between the truths we choose to live our life by versus the truths we do not choose but yet have power over us.

He goes on to suggest a set of scaffolded ideas that guide our journey in life.

• Wheresoever patterns are found, these are the complexes at work.
• Wheresoever complexes are found, history prevails over the present.
• Wheresoever history prevails over the present, we are stuck.
• Wheresoever we are stuck, there is a moral task.
• Wheresoever there is a moral task, we will be obliged to take on some quantum of anxiety.
• Wheresoever we we are willing to take on anxiety, we will grow and create new patterns, new history.
• Wheresoever we choose newly in the present, we render our journey more conscious, larger, and possibly more consistent with what destiny demands.

I believe Hollis is challenging us to look for patterns in our life that are birth from complexes that drive our behaviors, complexes that originate from the earliest stages of our life. These complexes, some of which may be buried in our unconscious, create challenges that demand that we do not look away. Instead, channel our anxieties into exploration and discovery. Use what we learn about ourselves to create new patterns, which allows us to reach our full human potential.

In my life, I see patterns emerging all the time, and while I wonder about them I don’t learn from them to the extent I would like. It’s challenging to explore the history from where these patterns emerged, calling to question how I was raised. I want to write more but the fear of failure keeps me stuck. Growing this capacity will only come from exploring the fear and taking risks to express myself through writing, letting go of my ego’s desire for approval. While i may never be a writer, I can shape a journey that is fulfilling.

If we choose to look away, leading an unexamined life, then we will not reach our potential.

The choice is ours to make “on this journey we call our life.“

Reference: On This Journey We Call Our Life: Living the Questions, James Hollis, 2003.